You Were Broken-Hearted (And the World Was, Too)
by runicmagitek
Summary: When he failed to smile, Riesz longed to give him a reason to do so again. Mid-canon Hawkeye/Riesz


_for FireEye for the multifandom drabble exchange on AO3_

* * *

The arid desert wasn't the windswept mountain side and the air carried enough blood to spoil the occasional breeze.

Riesz loathed it, though not as much as the sight before her.

He had yet to lift his head since their victory. With his back to his allies, Hawkeye focused on the two he called friends. His stories of those prized memories eased between their travels; Riesz anticipated them, eager to hear more of his life.

Anything to see him smile.

And he always was smiling. Fear and doubt distressed Riesz, yet Hawkeye banished it with wit and roguish charm. She ignored the skips in her pulse when he opted to position himself beside her, eyes on the road and lips moving faster than their stride. She ignored the heat splashing her face when she watched him from afar and he caught her staring. She ignored the countless nights she stared at the ceiling, unable to erase him from her thoughts and dreams.

Why harvest selfish desires now? Elliot needed her, as did all of Laurent. And Jessica needed Hawkeye just the same. Who was Riesz to distract him?

And yet he stood silent and motionless. A gust of wind danced across the sand. It tugged his lovely hair and dared to loosen its tie. He never flinched.

Riesz swallowed hard and approached him. "Hawkeye?" Gentle words trickled past frowning lips. She reached for him. "It's okay. We—"

Fingertips ghosted his bare shoulder and he jerked away.

"Let's get going," he replied. Pivoting away, Hawkeye marched on. "Can't stand around and mope all day."

He frowned, his eyes blank and the fine muscles of his face taut. Riesz froze, clutching her spear to her chest. If only she could combat his hollow agony.

If only she could make him smile again.

* * *

The sun hovered above the horizon and washed an orange glow over Nevarl. Kevin lead both their trek and idle conversations. Riesz politely nodded and smiled, gradually slowing her pace to linger with Hawkeye.

"You know," she said, "if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"I'm fine," he droned.

"Today wasn't easy. Not for any of us, but you espe—"

"I don't wish to burden you guys." He shuffled to halt and expelled a strained sigh. "Talking isn't going to return Bil and Ben."

She leaned forward to catch his gaze. "No, it won't, but you shouldn't be alone in your grieving. We _all_ have our motives and we agreed to help one another. Not out of self-interest, but because we want to, because we know you'd do the same in return."

"That's just it, though. I don't want a shoulder to cry on because you or whoever is a good friend. I just—" He groaned and smacked his face. "I don't know. I feel like I'm the first person ever to experience this. There's not some spell to make this feeling go away or an instruction manual with how to cope, right?" Hawkeye raised an eyebrow. "Unless you _do_ know of one. I'm all ears."

She wished she did.

The words flowed easier than she imagined. Riesz spoke of her father's death, an act she still blamed herself for. If she hadn't lost track of Elliot, he'd still be alive, Elliott would be beside her, and no harm would fall upon Laurent. She paused briefly in her melancholic recollection; had those events never occurred, she wouldn't have met Hawkeye.

Hawkeye said nothing. Not verbally. Riesz noted his expression softening and warming up. The walk to the inn was a quiet one, but at least they did so together.

* * *

The mattress groaned and the sheets shifted. Riesz floated between restlessness and unconsciousness, only to snap her eyes wide open. Moonlight poured into the dark room; it outlined Hawkeye's face as he sat on her bed.

Blush blossomed on her cheeks. "Hawkeye?" she squeaked out, barely passing as a whisper. "W-what are you—"

"I've been thinking," he said, "about how Bil and Ben wouldn't want me sad forever." He paused and evaded her gaze. "I… also thought about… what if we were to die tomorrow—"

"Hawkeye." Riesz reached for his hand without thinking. The blanket slipped off her, revealing a sheer, loose tunic. Blonde hair concealed everything else. "You mustn't speak like that." She squeezed his hand. "We're here for each other—on and off the battlefield."

"It's not that." He licked his lips. "I thought about everything I've pushed aside for one reason or another." Hawkeye met her eyes, unyielding and sincere. "I don't want to spend another day regretting those things."

He interlocked his hand with hers.

"I don't want to be alone," he murmured.

Riesz froze as he loosened the ties to his hair and joined her under the sheets. Hawkeye inched closer, their noses and toes bumping. He released her hand to skitter up her arm and finally embrace her. A tiny gasp escaped Riesz before nuzzling into his shoulder. She inhaled his scent, absorbed his warmth, and mirrored his actions.

Maybe it was a dream. He couldn't possibly view her the same way she regarded him; if it wasn't for this foreordained journey, there was no reason for their paths to cross, let alone be fond of each other. But Hawkeye caressed her back and never loosened his hold and for the first time since she left Laurent, Riesz drifted to a deep, dreamless slumber.

* * *

She woke up and forgot her surroundings. They frequented a different inn every night, but it was the additional body beside her which elicited panic. Her eyes adjusted to the dark and scanned the outline of Hawkeye's body beside her. Memories connected and she released a breath.

Then she caught those pale eyes staring back.

He stayed silent. So did she. Hawkeye smoothed blonde hair out of her face and cupped her cheek. A thumb idly teased the corner of her mouth.

Her tongue darted out to moisten her quivering lips. How often had she fantasized of this scenario? Perhaps the same amount of times she scolded herself for daydreams. But this was a welcomed distraction—for both of them.

She wanted to ask if Kevin had returned from his usual patrol—poor thing could never sleep during a full moon—but Riesz parted her mouth and was met with lips closing over hers.

A delighted coo thrummed through her. The sensation jolted across her body until her toes curled. He was soft and gentle and eager and attentive. Fingers tangled in each other's hair. His hand settled on the small of her back while she draped a leg over his hip. Riesz tasted him and wondered how she lived without experiencing such decadent pleasure.

Rolling onto her back, she whimpered when Hawkeye broke their heated kiss. Their eyes locked, heartbeats and breaths rising and falling out of time. He loomed above and eased in, nudging her face with his nose and chewing his lower lip. That inquisitive expression said what he struggled to ask.

Riesz smiled, snaked her arms around his neck, and tugged him in for another kiss. She didn't wish to emerge for air any time soon. Neither did he, if his actions were to be judged.

* * *

Twilight's blue haze seeped into the inn and teased Riesz's eyes open. She yawned and stretched, her movements impeded by a tight grip. A smile broke across her tired face; she peeked back to find Hawkeye clinging to her waist and nestling into her neck. She wiggled free from the tender embrace and kissed his temple.

Riesz scanned the interior while dressing—no sign of Kevin. Hopefully he was alright. His absence, however, couldn't have been better timed. _Don't know when we'll have another chance like this,_ she mused, then giggled. She swiped Hawkeye's tunic instead of her own, the garment almost twice her size. Riesz kept it on, smoothing the purple fabric over her thighs.

Cool air nipped her cheeks and knees upon slipping out. No one roused in Nevarl yet, content in their beds before the sun rose. Her morning routines in Laurent still prodded Riesz awake despite her efforts; instead of a mountain hike and daily reports, she found a perch along Nevarl's outer wall to curl up on and eventually watch the sun rise.

Pinks and oranges teased the horizon by the time footsteps snuck up behind her. "Don't tell me I was snoring."

Riesz giggled and tilted her head back. "Anything but."

Hawkeye smirked, shirtless with a hand on his cocked hip. "Was sad I couldn't wake up next to you."

"Sorry," she said too quickly, eyes back to the sunrise, "I figured after everything you've been through, you'd want some solid sleep before we returned to—"

He plopped behind her and enveloped Riesz. "After everything _we've_ been though," he whispered into her hair, "I wanted to spend these moments with _you_."

She ignored the prickle behind her eyes and leaned into Hawkeye. Their hands wove together as they witnessed the world waking.

* * *

Kevin led the way out of Nevarl, linked hands braced behind his head as he released an audible yawn. He rambled about his midnight excursion while Riesz trailed behind. Something nudged her shoulder. Blinking, she peered to her side and smiled.

Hawkeye caught up, donning his new armor bought from the bazaar before departure. His usual attire peeked beneath leather and splint mail. Riesz bit back a smirk, recalling how he whispered in her ear not long ago of how much he loved seeing her wear his tunic. She doubted their next visit to an inn would offer as much privacy as their last one, but she quietly hoped to wear it again for him sooner than later.

He winked and slipped an arm around her waist. Riesz didn't protest as their bodies met. Past the layers of armor and linen, she swore she still heard his heart racing. Hers was too. Balancing her spear on one shoulder, she leaned her head in the opposite direction and rested her cheek against Hawkeye.

Recollections of the night cycled in her mind; she swore she imagined it. Her body continued to thrum in the afterglow, yearning to return to where they shared more than pleasantries. Even when she woke to find Hawkeye still sharing her bed, even when his lips locked with hers, even when his name skittered on her tongue in between desperate breaths, Riesz struggled to fathom that of all the people in the world, he chose _her_.

Riesz smiled and cooed.

"Hey, you doing alright?" Hawkeye asked.

"Yes," she replied softly, just as gentle as those fingers tracing idle shapes into her side. "I'm more than alright."

"Really?"

"Mmm."

His lips found a home against her temple and Riesz swore he smiled. "I wouldn't want it any other way."


End file.
